working on it

lately I've been struggling not to struggle. obviously, this is not the right way to go about trying to find peace, but it's the only thing I know. I struggle at everything, and I know it's not right, it feels wrong. inner peace does come from fighting for it. it comes from accepting. from yes. somehow though, I'm saying yes to the wrong thing. I'm accepting and saying yes to how morbidly bad everything is, and how easy I can despair. I'm not saying yes to an unbiased reality. I still leave my bias on everything and think that by saying yes it will be ok. I suppose it's a type of arrogance that keeps me from getting past my own version of reality. I have something happen, or hear of a situation and see it as bad, and I'm unable to get past the negative feelings that go with that. I can see, objectively, that that situation or thing isn't necessarily bad. I just can't get that to translate into my head.