I say... you hear....

I was recently reading an article entitled "eight commonly misinterpreted songs" (found here,) and I was fascinated with the opening paragraph. In particular this sentence:
"When we read a poem or a story, we bring our own experiences into the text and that often yields vastly different interpretations. "
I've had a similar conversation many times on the subject of the Bible. Each person reads the verses contained within and understand them based on the experience of their life. That's part of the reason I have a hard time listening to a pastor teach on the Bible. my understanding is different from his, and I think God can show each person what they need to see though the specific things in the verse that make an impression on their mind. but this whole thing's off topic. I'm talking about communication.
communication, simple conversation is subject to the same principles. when you say something, that's not necessarily what the other person hears. they're listening to your words, and their brain is interpreting those words based on the sum of THEIR experiences. thus mis-communication happens so easily. basically any time your life experiences aren't similar to the other persons, there's opening for confusion.
so with this knowledge, why do we get so frustrated? because we expect everyone to understand everything how we meant it? has there ever been a place or time where that's held true? upon what do we base these expectations?
of course, one might read this post and draw the conclusion that conversation is pointless, or at least so difficult to get right that it's hardly worth the effort. I disagree. any conversation is a journey, and one must be open to anything along the way. sometimes even though you may not get what the other person is saying, it causes something else to arise in your being. something maybe not intended, but profound nevertheless.


on a small side not, I disagreed with the article I linked. the author draws her own conclusions on the songs. and what does it matter anyway? I suppose I should take the college course she mentioned...because I'm not sure how I feel about which is more important, what the author originally meant, or what the reader/listener takes from it... but what do I know. I'm just interpreting words on a page based on the sum of my life experiences. and that's not even starting in on my own interpretations of those life experiences. whether they be reality or not. silly me. what do I know?

Welcome to the existence

*Everyone's here.

not sure why. but we are.

*Everyone's watching you now.

still lost on why. unless you're just self-centered, and you're imagining it.

*Dare you to move.

I dare myself to move. someday.

I'm not sure what I'm doing.

working on it

lately I've been struggling not to struggle. obviously, this is not the right way to go about trying to find peace, but it's the only thing I know. I struggle at everything, and I know it's not right, it feels wrong. inner peace does come from fighting for it. it comes from accepting. from yes. somehow though, I'm saying yes to the wrong thing. I'm accepting and saying yes to how morbidly bad everything is, and how easy I can despair. I'm not saying yes to an unbiased reality. I still leave my bias on everything and think that by saying yes it will be ok. I suppose it's a type of arrogance that keeps me from getting past my own version of reality. I have something happen, or hear of a situation and see it as bad, and I'm unable to get past the negative feelings that go with that. I can see, objectively, that that situation or thing isn't necessarily bad. I just can't get that to translate into my head.

As Is

too tired to write tonight. will have to learn to write before work, not after. sorry folks. here's a bit from Rilke.

"Be patient toward all that is unsolved in your heart
and try to love the questions themselves like
locked rooms and like books that are written in
a very foreign tongue. Do not now seek the answers,
which cannot be given you because you would not be able
to live them. And the point is, to live everything.
Live the questions now." - Rainer Maria Rilke

1234

my life is melting away. I "schedule" my life around my work, but on the days I work, I do nothing else. and on the days I don't work, I'm so "relieved" to not be working, I sleep all day. I get nothing done. I sleep, and waste time on the internet. really, what does it matter if I read an article on "Fishermen narrowly escape death when 40-tonne truck crashes just two feet from their tent." that is a real headline I found just now on Fark.com, where I waste much of my time. seriously, who cares.
so, in an attempt to put some order in my life, I shall try to blog daily. and wash clothes weekly. and eat at least twice a day. and possibly read an actual book at least a bit each day. we'll see how it goes.

insecurities of youth

today, I have cracked. I have felt like crying, but didn't. I felt like screaming, but didn't. I felt like running, but instead walked.

I feel pressure from everyone and everything. pressure from my parents to be productive. pressure from my girlfriend to not act like a retard. and to be productive. pressure from my brother for about everything. to be productive. to be happy. to live differently. to play poker well. to not act like a retard. to be a man. pressure from myself is the worst. all the things listed and more. to be happy. to be at peace. to know what I'm doing. where I'm going. who I am. to not act like a retard. to be a man. to be productive.

it's all in my head, everyone knows this. I know this, you know this. but it's as real as anything to me. and it crushes me. I know, I'm a drama queen, and I feel pressure from you, the unnamed reader, to not act like a sissy in this post. but it's my damn blog, I can spill whatever damn beans I want. and I do feel crushed. I feel like I imagine the bottom of the ocean to be. every inch of my body is under-pressure, from nowhere, from everywhere. it's there, but I can't see it. but it takes up all my thoughts.

who am I? where am I going? how do I get to be that person I don't know I want to be. is there someone out there that can help? actually, wait. I know the answer to that last one. no. it's up to me. all me. and guess what? the title of the post says youth, but this pressure comes from me, and it won't go away with age. it will only go away if I find a way to make it go away. if I can be at peace. the pressure to be at peace. how deliciously, and painfully, ironic.

Hiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiigh

Recently I've had several discussions on Rocket Man, originally preformed by Elton John. here's my favorite version of it, with William Shatner:



after these discussions I Wikied the song, and discovered that Kate Bush did a version of it that reached #12 on the UK charts. I Youtubed it, and here's what I found:



I don't know about you, I'm not too impressed with it. Obviously Shatner is better, but I even prefer Elton here, or even Stewie:





and last but not least, from the credits of one of my favorite shows, Californication, I present a cover by My Morning Jacket: